Why Is Listening to Sad Music Pleasurable? (Music Therapist Explains)
Why do we enjoy listening to sad music? Explore the emotional benefits of sad songs, how they support mental health, and their role in music therapy.
It’s a quiet moment. You’re alone. And somehow, a sad song makes you feel better. Not worse. Not lonelier. Just… seen. Understood. Calm.
This might feel strange at first. Why would something melancholic feel comforting? Shouldn’t sad music make us feel more sad?
Turns out, there’s a very real, very human reason why we often find sad music pleasurable.
Why We Enjoy Sad Music When We're Down
You’re not alone if you instinctively play moody ballads or tearful piano pieces when you’re low.
You’re just coping. Soothing yourself.
This behaviour is called emotional regulation through music.
Rather than pushing feelings away, sad songs help us move through them. They:
Validate what we’re feeling ("Yes, this is hard")
Help us cry, soften, or reflect
Offer a sense of connection ("Someone else has felt this too")
Slow down our nervous system
The Psychology (and Emotional Benefits) Behind Sad Music
Sad music activates parts of the brain linked to empathy, memory, and emotional regulation.
When we hear slow melodies or thoughtful lyrics, our brain picks up on the sad feelings—but we're not actually in danger or distress like we would be in real life.
In other words, sad songs create a safe space to feel.
They give us permission to access and sort out emotions we might normally avoid. And they let us experience sadness without judgement.
Someone has been through what we’re going through and wrote a song about it (yep, that Adele song).
We feel comforted. Heard. Understood.
That emotional release can actually feel soothing, even pleasurable.
In particular, there is a difference between “perceived emotion” and “felt emotion”. We perceive the sadness of sad music but feel both sadness and pleasure (more romantic, blither and less tragic - similar to watching a dramatic film or reading a poignant novel) when we listen to it. Sad music can give us a sense of aesthetic appreciation: we njoy the beauty and emotional depth, even if the content is sorrowful. Music-induced pleasure can activate the dopaminergic system just like when we have food and sex.
Using Sad Music in Music Therapy
Music listening can be used to:
change, maintain, or reinforce affect, moods and emotions;
for relaxation, for reminiscence or to trigger nostalgia, or to stimulate cognitive effects;
for meaning enhancement or as a platform for mental work or cognitive reappraisal
Studies also show that people who are more empathic or introspective often report greater enjoyment of sad music. It’s not about wallowing — it’s about resonance.
Listening to sad music may be more adaptive for psychologically healthy people who are also more like to apply healthy coping strategies.
In music therapy sessions, sad or gentle music can be a powerful tool for adults navigating anxiety, grief, or emotional numbness.
We might explore a client’s reaction to lyrics, co-write a song that reflects a difficult experience, or simply use instruments to access a feeling they haven’t been able to name yet.
Rather than avoiding emotional discomfort, music becomes the bridge into it — safely, creatively, and with support.
Don’t forget that music can be a double-edged sword. As we bring own resources and thoughts when listening to music, we are the one to determine how we want to feel. In other words, we pick songs to suit our purpose. Because we hold this power, we can either leverage music to enrich our lives or work through our sadness, or we can let it take us to the darkside.
How You Can Use Sad Music to Support Your Own Mental Health
Have your eyes set on the goal.
You are here to feel better and make better decisions, not to ruminate or get stuck in the past.
Here are a few things you can do on your own:
Make an emotional playlist. Curate songs that match what you need to process. Let yourself feel.
Journal to lyrics. What line hits the hardest? Why?
Hum or sing along. Vocalising helps regulate the nervous system.
Don’t rush to fix it. Allow sadness to be part of your emotional landscape.
From there, you might be able to see your situation from a different perspective, and regain strength and hope to face any challenge that comes your way.
Final Thoughts: Sad Music Isn’t the Problem — Disconnection Is
Sadness itself isn’t harmful. Avoiding it can be. When we use music to reconnect with what we’re feeling, we move from suppression to self-awareness.
So if you’ve been reaching for that heartbreak song on repeat—maybe it’s not about being stuck. Maybe it’s about trying to feel again.
Want to understand more about how music affects your emotional health?
🎵 Take the free well-being quiz to check in with how you’re using your time, energy and attention.
Or book a free 1:1 online music therapy consult if you’re curious how this might support you more deeply.